Sentimental Sunday - Drawings I made between 1997-2001

Drawing of a John Singer Sargent sketch, circa 2000

When I was around 14, I began drawing more frequently. This was around the time my parents were going through a divorce and I feel it must have been a therapeutic thing for me to do to get through those tough times. We didn't have a computer nor the internet at the time (this was again, 1997! Computers were still very expensive and so was the internet for the average family). 

So, I started drawing. And, for some reason, I couldn't stop! Some of my earliest inspirations to start drawing more were the Beatles, old movie stars, and an artist who I knew very little about, John Singer Sargent. I believe I was introduced to his work due to a book of his I bought at Barnes & Noble that was on discount (another free and cheap thing we'd do since money was scarce due to the divorce). 

One time, my Grandma loaned us a box just stuffed of old family photos - all taken around 1910-1920. It was a perfect time to loan them to me, as Titanic was coming out that year and that era was sort of all the rage. It's still my favorite era for fashion, next to the 1950's. At this time, I was starting to think of better ways to improve my drawings. I started to use tracing paper over clear plastic that I had trace over with a Vis d' Vis fine point dry erase pen. By tracing many people's faces over and over,  it really got me accustomed to how to draw the human form. Eventually, I know longer needed this way of tracing to make a good drawing. I was finding myself obsessed with drawing. I couldn't get enough of it. I'd sort of be hermit-like in my room and draw all day and even well into the night. I think it was by far the best therapy I could give myself during a tough time. I was being home schooled, as well, so I had some liberties with my time. But, it was worth it. I was self disciplined enough to get my work done and it really kept me out of trouble with other kids and less distracted by going out and doing things I shouldn't do. I was lucky to have a few friends from elementary that I still hung out with from time to time, so I never felt alone. It worked really well for who I was and I have no regrets (I went on to college and graduated with Honors, so it goes to show home schooling is not any better or any worse than going to a regular high school - it just works better for others!)

A copy of a painting of a 1912-1913 woman, circa 1998

When we received a used computer in early 1999, I noticed my enthusiasm for drawing slowly dwindling. The internet was all the rage and really at it's peak at this time. The whole Y2K and Dot.com boom was taking hold of everyone and shifting our attitudes towards communication and having the world at our fingertips. However, I still was very disciplined, mostly through about 2001-2002. Not long after this time, life just started to get in the way - I was juggling college and work and a relationship. I can see why I was having a tough time keeping my drawing and painting skills intact during this time. 

Emily Sargent (original painting by J.S. Sargent), drawing by me, circa 1999

Now, fast forward to the year 2015. My drawing skills have been somewhat disabled. I can still draw well, but my perspective drawing needs some work. I have bad carpal tunnel and a cyst on one hand which makes it difficult to draw (painting is not as hard). I still draw and paint just so I don't lose my skills completely. I mostly photograph for now, as I like to photograph for painting and drawing references. It also helps fulfill my need to be creative. 

I often look back on this time where I was most prolific in my drawing and I partly admire myself for persevering through it, even when I had no formal education on how to draw. I look back on it as a time for growth and looking deep down inside of who I was at the time and as a reflection of who I was to become. Going through my past art work gives me feelings of a pensive state of happiness. I have memories attached to each and every drawing/painting, whether they are good or bad.

One day, I know I will draw and paint more. But for now, I am happy I ever did it at all. 

My cousin Tiffany and I, next to a painting of mine that sold at an art show in the Spring 2001. 

Sentimental Sunday - Going Back to 1994

Twenty years ago - where does the time go? The picture above is of my Grandparents in 1994. My Grandpa was 72 and my Grandma was 65. Back then, they just seemed, well, old to my 12 year old self. But, they were still doing very well, health wise. My Grandpa, who never used a cane his entire life, helped us move in December. That's when I realized my Grandpa was still pretty darn cool. My Grandma also helped us out during the move. Looking back, I can't believe that they were in their 70's and late 60's and helping us move.

Most especially, looking back, I realize now just how much time has changed them. Now my Grandma can no longer drive, she's had two mild heart attacks and is on several pills. One of the heart attacks caused her to have a bit of a limp, but it's barely noticeable and she's too proud to use a walker or a cane, so she hangs on to us sometimes when going up steps. Yet, when I look at my Grandma, she still has that spunky attitude about her that she's always had her whole life. She crinkles her nose when she's unhappy or talking about something unpleasant. She'll still use her hands to gesture with when telling a story. Her eyes will get expressive when she's talking about something exciting. And, there I see it, the Grandma I've always known. She's slowed down, but she keeps on going.

One of my fondest memories from 1994 with my grandparents was hiking the hills behind their ranch and then coming down and playing baseball. It was Easter and it was that rare time of year in Northern California where the hills stay green for only about 8 to 10 weeks. If we have a dry winter, it's cut even shorter. My Grandpa's dog, Bozo, was still alive and so was my cousin's dog, Rainbow. We hiked the hills and I remember spending time with Grandpa, who helped me up several times when I got scared. We then finally made it to the top. All of us cousins were so proud of our achievement. This was something we'd been doing on this land since the 1950's. We were the 2nd generation. It was really windy out, I remember, and luckily many of us brought some flannel shirts to warm us up. We then ran down the hills, got our gear to play ball and we all played until dusk. One of my favorite Easters was in 1994.

I am feeling sentimental and this post nearly brought tears to my eyes, as I am still grieving my Grandpa's passing and thinking of our time together during 1994 brings back some good memories. I am thankful to have them to remember him by.