Running on Empty

I realize I have been gone for the last month and a half. I have good reasoning.

On October 22nd, my mother was diagnosed with bladder cancer and, in a sense, my world stopped. Cancer does not run in our family, or so I thought. Lately, more and more stories from our family histories are popping up with cancer being involved. My mother's dad supposedly had cancer on his lips (it doesn't surprise me -  he was a very freckly, white, ginger Irishman living and working in the hot California sun)

I truly hate the word cancer. Until now, I have been so very lucky to not be directly hit with it in our immediate family. Some relatives have had benign tumors, but not cancerous tumors. 

My mother has stage 1 bladder cancer. It's not invasive to the muscle in the bladder, but it has invaded quite a few deeper tissues in the bladder.

She had surgery on November 4th to have the tumor removed and she is still experiencing pain from the removal of the tumor and also some side effects from the chemotherapy they gave her right after surgery. 

So, I will try my hardest on here to continue posting, but at this time, my heart is heavy with fear and hope. I am not sure where my mother's future stands and it scares me, but I have hope she will get through this and give it her strongest fight. 

I'd like to give cancer a few expletives at this very moment, but I will refrain. 

I will promise to come on here to let off some steam.... but some good steam :)

Matrilineal Monday - My Mother on her Honeymoon in Paris, 1978

My parents first went to Rome, then Paris and then made their last stop in London. 

They were married September 16th, and the next day, boarded a plane to Europe. A first time for them both. 

I will be going to Europe next May, 2016 for my first time! Looking at these pictures makes me even more excited to go!

Look-A-Likes - Magdalina Herr Pudwill and Martha Herr Werre

Recently, a cousin of mine (who I am so thankful to have connected with), sent me a photo of my 2x Great Grandfather's siblings (except he happened to not get in the photo!)

The photo is great - it's of all of his siblings seated together in one row and then the others are standing behind the seated ones. They all have the typical stern faces you'd see in photos from that era, but some had little smirks on their faces, too.

This picture was likely taken around 1905-1906.

One of the siblings is my great, great grandfather's sister, named Magdalina Herr Pudwill. She was born in 1886, however, lived to be only 21 years old, and passed away in childbirth in 1907. I am not sure if that child survived, but it's very sad that she did not live longer.

Magdalina's brother, Jacob (my great, great grandfather), had a daughter named Martha Herr in 1898. She is the one pictured on the right, circa 1904, at age 6.

When I saw Magdalina's photo, I instantly thought she resembled Martha, her niece.

I decided to put their photos side by side, and although there are differences, they look like they are definitely related.

Wishful Wednesday - Meeting The People in These Daguerreotypes

Unknown Murphy family member, Daguerreotype, circa 1845-1850 - Notice pink blush on face

My grandmother inherited a great deal of many treasures from a family which these items could not be claimed. The Murphy family in Brentwood and Round Valley left behind some very historic items, including these beautiful daguerreotypes. 

Daguerreotypes are often confused and often lumped together with tintypes and Ambrotypes, two later forms of photography. The tintype is often very easy to distinguish between a Daguerreotype, if you are holding the two side by side. Daguerreotypes are printed onto a mirrored piece of glass, using silver to expose the image. Therefore, capturing a Daguerreotype with a camera can be difficult when it wants to get you in the image, as well. 

 Tintypes are developed onto a piece of tin, which has no glass and no mirror. It's also very thin compared to a  Daguerreotype, (like a piece of sheet metal) and is pliable. 

Ambrotypes are slightly different than a Daguerreotype. To combat the reflection issue of  daguerreotypes, the ambrotype came into existence. Instead of a silver backing, ambrotypes have a black emulsion painted behind the glass. As time goes on, this emulsion can crack. 

Clasp of case - the case was made as a thermoplastic, a rarity for that era, but ahead of its time!

Front view showing clasps

As you can see, this very reflective image captured my hands inside the mirror.

A unique view, showing cracking and tarnish

Stunning blue velvet interior of one of the photo cases. It felt as if it were brand new. 

Unknown Murphy family member, Daguerreotype, circa 1845-1850 - Notice pink blush on face, gold painted earrings, belt, ring and reddish flower she's holding.

A pensive look, circa 1850s

Wordless Wednesday - Lovely Ladies from the 1970's

My mother, Carole, her sister, Penny and Penny's husband, Jack Young, circa 1976. Out for dinner. 

Sentimental Sunday - Drawings I made between 1997-2001

Drawing of a John Singer Sargent sketch, circa 2000

When I was around 14, I began drawing more frequently. This was around the time my parents were going through a divorce and I feel it must have been a therapeutic thing for me to do to get through those tough times. We didn't have a computer nor the internet at the time (this was again, 1997! Computers were still very expensive and so was the internet for the average family). 

So, I started drawing. And, for some reason, I couldn't stop! Some of my earliest inspirations to start drawing more were the Beatles, old movie stars, and an artist who I knew very little about, John Singer Sargent. I believe I was introduced to his work due to a book of his I bought at Barnes & Noble that was on discount (another free and cheap thing we'd do since money was scarce due to the divorce). 

One time, my Grandma loaned us a box just stuffed of old family photos - all taken around 1910-1920. It was a perfect time to loan them to me, as Titanic was coming out that year and that era was sort of all the rage. It's still my favorite era for fashion, next to the 1950's. At this time, I was starting to think of better ways to improve my drawings. I started to use tracing paper over clear plastic that I had trace over with a Vis d' Vis fine point dry erase pen. By tracing many people's faces over and over,  it really got me accustomed to how to draw the human form. Eventually, I know longer needed this way of tracing to make a good drawing. I was finding myself obsessed with drawing. I couldn't get enough of it. I'd sort of be hermit-like in my room and draw all day and even well into the night. I think it was by far the best therapy I could give myself during a tough time. I was being home schooled, as well, so I had some liberties with my time. But, it was worth it. I was self disciplined enough to get my work done and it really kept me out of trouble with other kids and less distracted by going out and doing things I shouldn't do. I was lucky to have a few friends from elementary that I still hung out with from time to time, so I never felt alone. It worked really well for who I was and I have no regrets (I went on to college and graduated with Honors, so it goes to show home schooling is not any better or any worse than going to a regular high school - it just works better for others!)

A copy of a painting of a 1912-1913 woman, circa 1998

When we received a used computer in early 1999, I noticed my enthusiasm for drawing slowly dwindling. The internet was all the rage and really at it's peak at this time. The whole Y2K and Dot.com boom was taking hold of everyone and shifting our attitudes towards communication and having the world at our fingertips. However, I still was very disciplined, mostly through about 2001-2002. Not long after this time, life just started to get in the way - I was juggling college and work and a relationship. I can see why I was having a tough time keeping my drawing and painting skills intact during this time. 

Emily Sargent (original painting by J.S. Sargent), drawing by me, circa 1999

Now, fast forward to the year 2015. My drawing skills have been somewhat disabled. I can still draw well, but my perspective drawing needs some work. I have bad carpal tunnel and a cyst on one hand which makes it difficult to draw (painting is not as hard). I still draw and paint just so I don't lose my skills completely. I mostly photograph for now, as I like to photograph for painting and drawing references. It also helps fulfill my need to be creative. 

I often look back on this time where I was most prolific in my drawing and I partly admire myself for persevering through it, even when I had no formal education on how to draw. I look back on it as a time for growth and looking deep down inside of who I was at the time and as a reflection of who I was to become. Going through my past art work gives me feelings of a pensive state of happiness. I have memories attached to each and every drawing/painting, whether they are good or bad.

One day, I know I will draw and paint more. But for now, I am happy I ever did it at all. 

My cousin Tiffany and I, next to a painting of mine that sold at an art show in the Spring 2001. 

Surname Saturday - Are the Roehm's from Ancient Rome?

One of my closer family surname's is that of Roehm. It's my grandmother's maiden name. It is likely not pronounced as "Rome," but that is often the pronunciation we hear. I believe is should be pronounced as "Rahm" 

There are many variations on how it's spelled, as well: 

Rohm

Rehm

Roehm

Romer,

Rohmer

Roehmer

Roemer,

von Roemer

von Romer

Romayer

Raumayer

Raumair

Raum

Roem

The meaning, per Ancestry.com - 

Rohm Name Meaning

From the Germanic personal name Ruom (Old High German hruom ‘fame’), a short form of Ruombald and similar personal names containing this element.(Röhm): see Roehm.

Another website (http://www.pronouncenames.com/pronounce/roehm) allows you to see how it is pronounced:

r OH m

And they also give the meaning behind it:

Fame

Wow, that's a lofty meaning behind a name. 

Others battle out on message boards whether Roehm really does have any ancient Roman ties to it, since the name is so similar in spelling and in pronunciation? 

4crests.com seems to go with the idea that Roehms, and all of their variations, were truly once Romans. They also give a fairly elaborate account of the name which is mostly unseen elsewhere on the internet:

This surname ROHM is of German origin, a regional or ethic name for a Roman, or more generally for an Italian. The name was originally rendered in the Latin form of ROMAEUS. It was also a nickname for a pilgrim, and the name came to mean this because it was originally applied to travellers from the Western (Roman) Empire who had to pass through The Byzantine Empire on their way to the Holy Land. Later the name was used of pilgrims to Rome and to Santiago de Compostella. The name is also spelt ROMERO, ROMEO, ROMEI, ROHMER, ROMER, ROOMER and RUMMER. Surnames having a derivation from nicknames form the broadest and most miscellaneous class of surnames, encompassing many different types of origin. The most typical classes refer adjectivally to the general physical aspect of the person concerned, or to his character. Many nicknames refer to a man's size or height, while others make reference to a favoured article of clothing or style of dress. Many surnames derived from the names of animals and birds. In the Middle Ages ideas were held about the characters of other living creatures, based on observation, and these associations were reflected and reinforced by large bodies of folk tales featuring animals behaving as humans. Surnames which were derived from ancient Germanic personal names have the same meaning in many languages. The court of Charlemagne (Charles the Great, king of the Franks (742-814) was Christian and Latin speaking). The vernacular was the Frankish dialect of Old High German, and the personal names in use were Germanic and vernacular. These names were adopted in many parts of northwest Europe, particularly among the noble ruling classes. Hereditary surnames were found in Germany in the second half of the 12th century - a little later than in England and France. It was about the 16th century that they became stabilized. An infamous member of the name was Ernst ROHM (also spelled ROEHM) (1887-1934) the Nazi leader, born in Munich, Germany. He became an early supporter of Hitler, and the organizer and commander of the stormtroopers (Brownshirts and Blackshirts). He became state commissar of Bavaria, but in 1934 his plans to increase the power of this force led to his execution on Hitler's orders

This is by far the most interesting account of the name ROEHM. 

It's hard to say what is right without some deeper research. 

For now, I would like to say I have a little Italian in me *haha*